Finally, Moved On

There's a million different ways to prove to the whole world that you've finally moved on. Kung minsan ilang beses nating pinaniwala ang sarili natin that we've moved on. Pilit nating tinatago ang sakit, because we want to move. At sa mga oras na akala nating nalimutan na natin ang isang taong naging malaking bahagi ng buhay mo, saka mo malalaman na hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin siya nawala sa ulirat. Nandoon pa rin ang mga alaalang pilit nating binabaon sa limot. Nandoon pa rin ang saya at mga hapdi ng mga araw na pinagsaluhan. Akala natin umusad na tayo, akala natin hindi na tayo nasasaktan, akala natin hindi na natin mahal siya.

Ilang beses ko na ring kinumbinse ang sarili ko na its all over. Mahirap at masakit but i know the pain would be worth it. Hindi ganoon kadali kalimutan ang isang kahapong boung buhay mong pinapangarap na maging kinabukasan. But I tell you, the pain makes you a better person. Habang dinadama mo ang kirot, you will learn that your life does not revolve around that person. Later, you will realize that before you can love others, dapat mo munang matutunang mahalin ang sarili mo. That's the most important thing--ang matutunan mong pahalagahan ang sarili mo.

Nandyan na ako sa poin na iyan. I thought wala ng saysay ang lahat, napagod rin ako sa kaiisip kung paano ibalik ang dati, hanggang sa nagising ako isang araw, may mas mahalaga pa pala kaysa kanya. Kaya heto ako ngayon, masaya naman. Tanggap ko na that we're better off as friends. Mahalaga sa aking ang friendships, kaya hindi ko basta tinatapon ito. Kahit papaano, hindi pa rin nawala ang respeto namin sa isat-isa.

I would say na nakusad na rin ako sa wakas. Dahil ngayon, isa na lang syang bahagi ng nakaraan ko. Isang nakaraang hindi ko na dapat balikan.

I have moved on. and I will never commit the same mistake again. Ayoko ng maging miserable uli ang buhay ko.

Break na kung Break

Seven Thing you should realize after crying on a break-up

1. Every race has a finish line
True, I still believe na lahat ay may katapusan. Whether we like it or not lahat natutudukan. No matter how painful it is, the fact is, hindi lahat ng stories nagtatapos sa happy ending. We have to remember that kahit tapos na ang lahat, we have to be open for changes. We have to accept the reality for us to move on. Dahil kapag hindi, patuloy tayong magiging alipin ng ating nakaraan. And we cannot move on unless kaya nating tanggapin ang lahat gaano man ito kasakit.

2. Breaking up is either letting go of a good one or kicking out a moron
Let go, and move on. Holding on to memories would be good. Let go of the experiences, but hold on to the lessons na natutunan mo sa bawat relationship. tao lang tayo, may kahinaan.

3. You lose a person because a more important one must enter
Kung kayo talaga para sa isat-isa, magiging kayo. But if not, try to fix things up, kung hindi talaga let go. magiging masakit, but the pain would be worth it.

4. Love has its own reason, destiny has its own way, and karma has its own judgment
Basta ang alam ko, nagmahal lang ako. And up to the last moment na minahal ko siya, that was true. If you believe in destiny, dapat ka ring maniwala at tanggapin ang katotohanan.

5. The one who cries the most is the one who loves the most
KApag totoo kang nagmahal masasaktan ka. Alam naman natin siguro na when we love, we have to be ready to get hurt. There is no such thing as perfect relationship.

6. Time won't heal the heartache but a new love will surely do
Maaring naka move on na tayo, but we cannot forget down the memory lane, nagmahal tayo.

7. Its the end of the relationship but not your life

GAga lang siguro ang maniniwalang, ur life will end pag nag break kayo. Naks,

Iba pala pag ikaw na ang nasaktan

masakit at hindi ko kaya. i hope matapos na ang lahat

sana nga lang

There are so many ifs in my mind. What if ganito? what if ganyan. Ganito na lang palagi ang iniisip ko. I don't know what's really wrong. Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan sa sarili ko ay kung bakit hanggang ngayon, paniwalang-paniwala ako na kaya kong magdesisyon sa isang sitwasyong mahirap pagdesisyunan. I mean, gustuhin ko mang magdecide ng tama para sa sarili ko, ay hindi ko magawa. Sana ganoon kadali ang kalimutan siya. Sana wala ng bahid ng sakit at kalungkutan kung hahayaan ko na lang siya. Sana parang wala lang ang lahat. Hanggang ngayon, pilit kong maghanap ng kasagutan sa mga katanungang bumabagabag sa akin.

Kahit ilang beses ko mang sabihin sa sarili ko na hindi na pwede, ay hayun sige pa rin. Mahal ko pa rin siya kahit alam kong sobra na. Mahal ko pa rin siya kahit alam kong mali na. I still cannot figure out kung bakit. There were times na halos hindi na ako maka-isip ng tama dahil sa kanya. Gulung-gulo pa rin ako, at hanggang ngayon hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit.

Three years na ang nagdaan. At sa loob ng tatlong taon na iyon, ang dami ng nangyari. May awayan, batian at kung anu-ano pa. There were moments ng kiligan, inisan at iyakan. Sa lahat ng iyon, wala akong pinagsisihan. Ilang beses mang nasaktan, there were still times na naging masaya ako -- at hindi ko yun malilimutan.

I hope, tama pa rin ang decision ko, at sana kaya kong ipaglaban siya. San lang.

kung minsan, unfair talaga

Ang bilis ng panahon, halos mamatay na ko sa kakahabol ng kung anu-ano at kung sinu-sino. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano isa-isahin ang mga problema. Hindi naman ako sumusuko kaagad. Sa sobrang dami ng problema ko, hindi ko na alam kung paano simulan. Nakakainis nga lang kung minsan dahil naaawa na ako sa sarili ko. i know that's the worst thing na nagawa ko sa buhay ko, but i cant help na maawa sa sarili ko, because the fact is, UNFAIR talaga ang mundo. ITS VERY UNFAIR.

i don't want to enumerate kung bakit, dahil kukulangin ang space na ito. basta, unfair talaga ang buhay. Naniniwala din akong hindi lahat ng bagay na gustuhion ng isang tao ay matutupad, wika nga nila, You can't have it all. May iba diyan swerte sa pag-ibig, malas naman sa pera. ang iba naman ay swerte sa pera, malas sa pag-ibig. Pero paano kung malas ka na sa pera, malas ka pa sa pag-ibig, ano ang tawag doon? diba unfair. nakakainis ang ganitong sitwasyon.

Sa totoo lang, ilang beses ko ring inisip na mag-give up, pero hindi ko lang talaga kayang panindigan. minsan, inisip kong huminto, alam mo na financial problems. pero on the other side of the coin, i keep on convincing myself that these are all challenges. parte lang ito ng libu-libo pang mga bagyo, at baha ng buhay.

unfair ang world, dahil i don't have the money to buy the things that i need for school. unfair dahil wala akong maipagmamalaki sa mga tao. unfair dahil sarili ko di ko kayang protektahan. unfair dahil sa akin lahat ng mahirap na problems. unfair dahil lahat na lang puro kamalasan na lang ang dumarating sa buhay ko.

ilang beses na akong umiyak, humiling na sana magkaiba naman ang takbo ng mundo. Sana ako naman doon. Sobra na kasi if lagi ka na lang nasa ibaba, at walang magawa kundi magtiis na lamang. Unfair talaga dahil kahit anong pilit kong gawin, naaawa pa rin ako sa aking sarili.

pero kahit ganoon pa man, lumalaban ako at umaasang malagpasan ang laban na ito. hanggang ngayon, naniniwala pa rin akong may DIYOS, at maririnig din niya ang daing ko.

To my Dearest Joey

One day, I will disappear completely. The letters will mean nothing. The world will get tired of me. You will get tired of me. I will get tired of myself. And I, I will never get tired of you. For you, there will be no endings. I will say your name over and over like a refrain, like a prayer to no one. That I’ll be a flower the one you’ll never pick, I’m willing to learn take breathless waiting till boundaries disappear.

With nothing to do, I make new constellations. Images of you as I remember--dancing, sitting, walking, there are stars from a different view but still, I see nothing but you...bloooming like a flower, swaying like a leaf. I once watched you sleep beside me. It was dark and the darkness is deeper now. Tonight in my dreams I will see you.I need you. I can feel right here beside me.Only to know that you're mine.Like a kite, I’ve given myself up to the wind, and make friends with the sun. Confused with the birds with strange and distant voyages. But it is you that ties that thread and holds me down. Like a kite, I will forever hold your hand. and with the burning longing in your hands, i surrender

I will never get tired of you. For you, there will be no endings. I will say your name over and over like a refrain, like a prayer to no one. You know I will never get far, and there’s no need for my return. Only travellers leave, never been a traveller, for I have never left, I'm lost simply, willing to be in place I’ve never been. And will never be, of all destinations. I longed to be lost in the fields of gray hair. Lost upon your touch, cause you’re already mine. You are my will live. My life started when I loved you and that’s how I want it to end.

pissed off

Where will I be a year and a half from now? For almost three years, I've been stucked in a place where I can see nothing but blurry images of my past and unclear visions of the future. I still do not know when will I move on and proceed to the next step. I'm still attached to a past which pulled me backward. I'm confused. I can't move on because I know nothing is to look up to in the future. there is nothing to look forward becuse I was born with nothing at all.

Today is the day of my life that I feared of. I feared that I will lose hope. Feared that I will pity myself. I don't want to call myself stupid or whatever. I only knew that perhaps, this is still stage in my life where I want to discover who I want to be and what I want to be.

Today, I feel like commiting suicide, but I'm afraid that life will get worse in the second life. Today, can't concentrate on my life. I'm sooccupied with so many things in life. Academic pressures and all. I'm pissed off with helping other people and being kind to them. I want to be rude this time. Be selfish, greedy and think nothing but my, myself and I.

This is a bullshit life. I'm the most unfortunate creature on earth. I don't what I'm doing. I don't know.

Who said that graduating with honors completes a good education. Bull shit!
That is not true.

So long. Good bye scholarship, goodbye to all....